One of my biggest struggles in my day-to-day life is managing my priorities. And by that, I mean I take stuff way too seriously. Car bill due? I’m thinking about it all day. Carpet to vacuum? Also on my mental to-do list. Some people think that keeping these kinds of daily priorities in your mind is an act of mature responsibility. I know I used to. But, more recently, I’ve been made aware of just how limiting that kind of prioritisation can be. Not just to your mental health and your happiness, but it can limit the happiness of important people in your life.
If you spend all your time prioritising your responsibilities, you’re likely ignoring some things that are very important to your life. Like your family, your friends, your “you” time, etc. The best way to determine if you’ve got your priorities straight is to take some time now and again to re-evaluate them. Below are a few ways that you can start.
Spend as much time as you can doing something you love to do.
Often, we push away our own needs in favor of the needs of our loved ones, such as aging parents, or our children. While this is a noble practice, we cannot neglect our own bliss in the process. Make it a practice to do something that fuels you as much as you can.
Surround yourself with people who want to be happy.
This might sound like a strange request, but it’s important if you want to be happy, the fastest way is to hang around with people who are happy. In other words, it’s time to distance yourself from emotional vampires. Certainly, you can’t do that 100% of the time, especially if the toxic individuals are your coworkers or relatives, but you can minimise the impact they have on you by minimizing your contact with them. Replace them with people who genuinely care about you and want you to lead a fulfilled life.
Set some personal goals that will get you closer to where you want to be.
Do you feel as if time is your enemy rather than your friend? Take control of the time you have by setting and accomplishing personal goals. Remember to divide your personal goals into doable “baby steps” and mark off each one you accomplish. If you have setbacks, don’t let them kill your dreams. They’re just tiny bumps in the long road.
Stay in the moment whenever you can.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Live each day by being fully in the moment. Resist the urge to be on “auto pilot” throughout your life, and you’ll find yourself feeling happier.
Start to forgive yourself and others.
It’s hard to be in a happy place when you’re angry or holding on to guilt, frustration and other negative emotions. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in touch with your feelings, there’s a time and a place to set them free and let them go. If you’re holding grudges, you’re actually hurting yourself more than anyone else.
Get in charge of your health.
Have you allowed your weight or nutritional wellness to get out of control? Happy people are in charge of their health as much as they can be. While this doesn’t mean you have to become a health guru, you probably can start eating better and enjoying a few exercises. Over time, you’ll feel powerful because you’ll know that you can govern your health.
Learn how to delegate.
Your happiness could be as close as asking someone else to help you. Too often, people take on tasks and simply add them to their responsibilities. Eventually, they become slaves to those responsibilities and may start to feel disgruntled. This gets in the way of being satisfied. By delegating some of the tasks to others, the load is lightened and room is made for cheerfulness.
Look at setbacks as opportunities to grow
Setbacks in life happen. It’s how we deal with them that sets us apart. If you have something happen that sets you back, use it as a chance to slow down and objectively evaluate what’s going on in your life. Often, it can be a useful sign that something’s amiss and can be altered for the better.
Focus on what’s important to you
Are you living someone else’s life? You may be if most of your decisions aren’t geared toward what’s really important to you. Take a few days and consider what you hold most dear in life. Are your actions helping you get closer to what’s important? Or are they moving you away? By aligning your actions with what you really want, you’ll find a truer sense of happiness and purpose.
Written by Sarah Jones, the UK’s leading holistic expert
First published in ESTILA Bookazine Vol 5/2017
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