How to find clarity and focus
I strongly believe that mindset is vital to any business success. When I was discussing articles for our printed editions with Sarah Jones, I knew we were onto something that will resonate with many creative women in business. Sarah is a leading holistic and lifestyle expert in the UK, with many celebrity clients. This week I’ve been overwhelmed with great comments about this new section of the magazine – How to find clarity and focus, which is so great.
We call the series “Snapshots of your life” and we divided the articles into several parts. The first part discusses the roadmap – how to find clarity and focus on life and your business too. Here’s an extract, which I hope will help you in your life:
Igniting your senses to remember days that have past, wishes you had formerly made and thoughts you once had. The back-story of our lives makes us who we are today, and what we will be tomorrow. Inspire your mind and infuse your soul. Sit amongst your thoughts and let your imagination blossom, enabling you to dream about all your wonderful wishes and ambitions. To believe that anything is possible you just have to have a little faith and vision.
Be in touch with your feelings and don’t see them as a weakness, but instead as a strength, from which as an individual you can grow and learn. It’s okay when you need to open your heart and let the tears flow. Sometimes the wrong decisions in life take us to the right places. Letting go and listening to your heart is painful but vital. Being strong is about accepting and not hiding, so that the true you can shine through. Sometimes life can feel like a dress rehearsal or even a first draft, but the truth is everyday counts. Each step you have taken has aided you along your journey and has enabled you to become the person that you belong to be. Never regret anything that has happened in your life, it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten.
So take it as a lesson, learn from it and move on. Life can seem like a roadmap. When we are younger, we all set out our big life plan. It is not until we are older that we realise how difficult it is to follow that map, which we once thought was so perfect. Sometimes we just need to reflect and in making a few changes, we can create our own new destiny. There is no right or wrong way to live. I can’t promise the journey won’t get a little windier at times, and feel a touch dark, but with the road map, we can unveil our own unique journeys and open our eyes to the beauty that is life.
You have to just go out and embrace it.
THE SECRET OF ROADMAPPING
Successful people have roadmaps, a clear purpose that aligns their daily movements with their long term aspirations. But far too many of us steer away from thinking about our lives in these terms. We are nearsighted, the future seems too far off and hazy to even consider. We focus on what we think we can control in our daily lives rather than what is coming down the road.
To start developing a meaningful life roadmap, you must first discover what truly motivates you, this is what drives your personal satisfaction. Finding your true motivation requires some serious soul-searching. But this effort will pay off.
Life has many twists and turns, ups and downs. Sometimes we feel like we are on top of the world and sometimes we just feel completely lost. When things are great, life has awesome written all over it. When life throws you a curve ball what do you do? Do you throw in the towel, curl up in a ball, kick and scream and be miserable? Or do you ‘recalculate’? My answer to you is the latter, however, it is perfectly normal and OK to feel sorry for yourself for a bit. When adversity strikes, whether it be financial, health, loss of a loved one, unsatisfied in your work or home life, it can hit you like a bullet. You have the choice to reassess your life and change your actions to reach your ‘chosen destination’.
When you are travelling an unknown route I hope this helps you to your chosen destination. Let’s say you’re feeling unmotivated, unsure of yourself, aimless, can’t find your passion, directionless, not clear on what your purpose in life is. You’re in good company — most people are in the same boat. Now, there about a million things online telling you how to find your passion in life, and that’s a good thing. It’s a search worth undergoing. I’m not going to give you a fool-proof method, or a 5-step method, nor share my passion manifesto with you today. I’m going to give you a one-step method. However, that one step is a doozy.
It’s simply this: learn to get outside your personal bubble.
Your personal bubble is the small world you live in (we all have one), where you are the center of the universe. You are concerned with your wellbeing, with not wanting to look bad, with succeeding in life, with your personal pleasure (good food, good music etc.).
This is the bubble we all live in most of the time, and people who say they don’t are trying to prove something.
- In our bubble, we’re concerned with our pleasure and comfort, and try not to be uncomfortable. This is why we don’t exercise, why we don’t only eat healthy food.
- This fear of being uncomfortable is also why we get anxious at the thought of meeting strangers. It hampers our social lives, our love lives.
- Because we don’t want to look bad, we are afraid of failing. So we don’t tackle tough things.
- We procrastinate because of this fear of failing, this fear of discomfort.
- When someone does or says something, we relate that event with how it affect us, and this can cause anger or pain or irritation.
- We expect people to try to give us what we want, and when they don’t, we get frustrated or angry.
Actually, pretty much all our problems are caused by this bubble. Including the difficulty in finding our life purpose. What Happens When We Get Out of the Bubble? If we can learn to get outside this personal bubble, and see things from a less self-centered approach, we can see some amazing things:
- When someone says or does something, it’s not really about us, it’s about pain or fear or confusion they’re feeling, or a desire they have. Not us.
- When we have an urge for temporary pleasure (TV, social media, junk food), we can see that this urge is a simple passing physical sensation, and not the center of the universe.
- We can start to see that our personal desires are actually pretty trivial, and that there’s more to life than trying to meet our pleasures and shy from our discomfort. There’s more than our little fears. Including: the pain and suffering of other people, and compassion for them. Compassion for all living beings. Wanting to make the world better.
- We can tie our daily actions, like learning about how our minds and bodies and habits work, or getting healthy, or creating something, not only to our personal satisfaction and success but to how they help others, how they make the lives of others better, how they might lessen the suffering of others.
We become less self-centered, and begin to have a wider view. Everything changes, from letting go of fear and anger and procrastination, to changing our habits and finding work that matters.
HOW TO GET OUT OF THE BUBBLE
First, you must see when you’re stuck in the bubble. Whenever you’re angry, frustrated, irritated, fearful, anxious, procrastinating, feeling hurt, wishing people would be different … you’re in the bubble. These are signs. You are at the center of your universe, and everything is relating to you and your feelings. When you can’t stick to habits, or have a hard time with a diet, you’re in the bubble. Your momentary pleasure is what matters in this bubble. Outside the bubble, they’re just little events (sensations of desire, urges) that can be let go of.
“You have to leave some doors open in what you want to do, close others and open new doors. By doing this, I have found a joy in writing which gives me creative satisfaction. Through sharing my story, I have exposed myself to a network of supportive people. Who knows where this path will take me, but for the moment I am embracing it and am happy to find out what destination it may lead me to”.
If this resonated with you, I would suggest to get a hard copy of our Estila printed edition here. You can start collecting each issue for your future reference and inspiration. Kx
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